Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
