Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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