The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
