Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
