i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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