I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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