Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
