I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
This baby is an asshole
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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