Yo dont text me then not text me
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
