i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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