Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
