First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize