Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
