I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize