Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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