We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Ladies don't puke and tell
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
