Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
