Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
