Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
