I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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