Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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