They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
