I looked at my own cervix.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
