I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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