two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I have post one night stand depression
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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