you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
