i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
