So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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