i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
