btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize
