I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
