he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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