:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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