I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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