this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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