someone get that fucking seahorse.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Randomize
