yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
