yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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