I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize