Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
be right there i have to get my cape
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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