She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
