Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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