yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
