I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
