I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
