he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize