They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
