What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
