you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
