we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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