Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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