I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
