Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
