i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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