Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
