Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
