Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
