i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
