check it out our google latitudes are spooning
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
