we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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