Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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