shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
